Astronaut Chris Hadfieldnprfreshair)
I graduated high school four years ago and I still have a little nagging fear at the back of my head that I forgot to do something and one of my teachers is just sitting at the school, four years later, still deducting a full 7% letter grade every day my report on Old Man and the Sea is late. The best grade I could get on it now is a -10799%. If I ever turn it in, my high school GPA will plummet so quickly that I will be retroactively rejected from the college I go to.
I have this recurring nightmare, maybe every two months or so, that I forgot or left off some high school requirement and I have to go back. In the most detailed of these nightmares I remember, I go through agonizing and shameful ceremonies where I give back my post-graduate and bachelors degrees while my entire family watches (even my deceased relatives are there). Then I re-enroll in high school and am taking geometry or something and I just can’t get it. And I’m sitting there, in my early thirties, surrounded by teenagers and I know they’re all understanding it and I can’t figure out the cosine or the unit circle or the slope of a line or plot the intersection or whatever and all of them can.
And then I wake up and vomit.